First week of the year.

This is the end of the first full week of 2009 and already it's been a bust.
I haven't done a very good job at accomplishing any of my goal. Actually I am reading my bible daily and spending more time in prayer. Which is a big improvement from the past, but all other goals, I haven't even tried to do anything about.

I really need to get back to having a daily list of chores and tasks to do. having the list is the easy part, it's actually doing everything on the list that is the hard part. Mostly because I procrastinate or find excuses not to do things.

Frank and I have had a rocky start to the new year and that makes it hard to get things done. Mainly due to some depression on my part. There has been a lot of stress and tension in the past 5 or 6 months between us and we are finally trying to deal with it, but of course emotionally it's hurts which only adds to any depression I have.

I'm trying not to spend a lot of time on the computer when Frank is home, but to spend more time with him. Of course I'm not cleaning much while he is home. Just doing the basic stuff and not any extra cleaning.

Having my daycare kids isn't helping either. I have one that cries all day long when he is dropped off. He wants me hold him all day. Which I can't do obviously. I've talked to his parents and grandmother about this, but they say it's because he's sick and isn't feeling good. I told them no it's started the very first day they started bringing him to me. Then another little boy cries because he wants to eat all the time and I won't feed him all day long. He gets his snacks and lunch with all the other kids. I am grateful for my daycare kids being here so that I can be home for my own kids otherwise I would have to get a job, but I'm beginning to lose patience with some of the kids.

Another reason I think I'm not getting anything done is because my daily to do list or poa is very detailed and long. When I see it I feel overwhelmed. Starting Monday I'm going to work in one room (and only one room) a day. If I break my list down into daily areas instead of printing the whole thing out then maybe it won't seem so overwhelming at least until I get routines established. I can also add PDC and FBB stuff which usually doesn't take to long to complete. I haven't started PCCX and I don't know if I even will do anything towards it this round. I'll see how the week goes.

My life right now is just overwhelming. I need to spend time with Frank and our kids. Then there are the kids activities---soccer, basketball, youth group, scouts, as well as school. I have daycare kids daily. I need to take care of the house daily. Where is MY time. I have very little me time or I'm made to feel guilty if I do anything for myself. Everyone acts like the world will end if I leave the house for a few hours by myself.

I better stop now because I feel myself beginning to ramble. I'll never stop if I start that.

Oh yeah, Jadon is driving me crazy because he doesn't say mama or mommy. He calls me Net because he hears the daycare kids call me that. I keep telling him my name is mama and he just laughs. He is such a cutie, but I wish he would call me mama. He calls Frank dada and really means it, but I'm Net.